Lyrics - Goldie Lookin' Chain: Safe as Fuck
1. Intro
2. Your Missus is a Nutter
3. Bad Boy Limp
4. Charm School
5. RNB
6. HRT
7. Dog
8. Maggot at Midnight
9. Hit Song
10. Monkey Love
11. Short Term
12. Paranoia
13. Sister
1. Intro
[lyrics]
2. Your Missus is a Nutter
Ballsy
Serious man, your fuckin' missus is nuts,
My missus is nuts an' all,
She rings me at least forty times a day,
Serious
Eggsy
I seen you last night, you were drinkin' in the pub,
You were drinkin' with that bird you tried to chat up in the nightclub,
Can't say her name but she's got a gammy eye,
And I feel an air of violence when I have to walk on by,
You can't deny it, it's something you can't miss,
That bird who's hangin' out with you is mad like cat piss,
Like bread and jam, or a knife going with butter,
Face it son, your missus is a nutter!
All
Oh son, your missus is a nutter!
Oh son, your missus is a nutter!
Oh son, your missus is a nutter!
Leave her alone! Your missus is a nutter!
Eggsy
I've never seen a woman make a f*ckin' skinhead cry,
And I never seen a woman try to snap an arm with her thigh
Now I have and it's just across the pub,
And the worst thing is she's takin' you home for a rub.
You don't deserve it, you know it's a fact,
But mix her up with booze, you got a suicide pact,
2 tequilas and 4 vodka mules,
She's a wrecking ball and her fists are the tools.
Xain
Binge drinking, binge drinking
Tried keeping up with your missus, what was I thinking?
She looks like Caprice,
But it's a shock to see her wrestling 2 police,
With one in a headlock!
Fighting with bouncers and flashing her bits,
After 2 flamin' sambucas she dont care who she hits,
Waking up on Sunday morning, with bruises and cuts,
Face it son, your missus is nuts!
All
Oh son, your missus is a nutter!
Oh son, your missus is a nutter!
Oh son, your missus is a nutter!
Leave her alone! Your missus is a nutter!
All
Your missus was looking at my missus,
So my missus, sparked out your missus,
Your missus was looking at my missus,
So my missus, sparked out your missus,
Xain
It was last week, what really got me thinking,
About how your missus goes nuts when we go drinking,
Last week, she ended up on a binge,
She got of her tits and showed the bouncers her minge.
And it's the threat of grievous bodily harm,
She needs to keep calm, and use her charm,
I used to think it was funny, it made me laugh,
When she threw that ashtray at the bar staff
Eggsy
Stabbed a man with a cone just to get a drink
There's no logic, just have a drink, fight, drink, fight, drink!
She grabs your throat and stares into your eyes,
Have you ever seen a woman kill a man with her thighs?
Xain
Oh son, your missus is trouble,
Everytime you have a drink she has a double,
Is she on pukkas?
I think she's tripping?
Stop lookin' at me love, this is water what I'm sippin'.
Eggsy
I seen her get on a mountain bike, and she drove it to Chipland, and did 'em all in!
Wicked!
All
Chorus x3
Pussy whipped x 3
Ballsy
She's nuts man!! she's off her 'ead man!! Innit!?!
3. Bad Boy Limp
Eggs
If you wanna make money then you gotta think fast
Phone claims direct coz there's a nail in yer arse
It's very simple it's jus one step or two
First hurt yourself then claim you wanna sue!
Adam
A venereal gash or I suggest whiplash
Call it what ya want jus get the f*ckin cash
P. Xain
Cash or cheque, trip or falls
You get over a grand if you rips off your balls
Can I get a witness?
You got a cut or a bruise? Now you're talking business
Eggs
Oh son put your face in the fire if you lose both eyes
Then the price goes higher
Xain
I went to the doctors cos I felt funny
Now claims direct, they're giving me money
Eggs
Pick up the phone, the number is free
Remember Kids No Win No Fee
Chorus
Ring now, no win no fee - it's gotta be true cos it's on the tv.
Ring now, it's money for free - it's gotta be true cos it's on the tv.
Xain
The badboy limp is tellin
You know what type of shit I'm sellin
I walks funny and I gets respect
My limps paid for by claims direct
Cut off two toes and got gangrene
Now I walks with a gangster lean
I did it in work, no win no fee
I got four grand and shop mobility
All
Shop Mobility, Shop Shop Mobility
Shop Mobility, Shop Shop Mobility
Shop Mobility, Shop Shop Mobility
Shop Mobility, Shop Shop Mobility
Chorus
Ring now, no win no fee - it's gotta be true cos it's on the tv.
Ring now, it's money for free - it's gotta be true cos it's on the tv.
Eggs
I wears a stone in the sole of my shoe
It makes me walk proper when I'm hangin with my crew
What do I mean? I try to explain bein fuckin razz means you've gotta take some pain.
Like I said, I wears a stone - other techniques have been used and are known
I used a marble it made me walk funny
Like Jeremy Beadle's hand giving me money
For a prize that I won on the show? for havin a bad boy limp and smokin blow
Put on your trainer feel the hi-tec glow
Insert a two inch nail to the foot below
The bad boy, the bad boy limp
A little bit of gravel makes you walk like a pimp
The bad boy, the bad boy limp
The harder you look the more you walks like a gimp
Chorus
Ring now, no win no fee - it's gotta be true cos it's on the tv.
Ring now, it's money for free - it's gotta be true cos it's on the tv.
Adam
Your bird checks me when you're havin a drink
I got ten fags and a bad boy limp
If you wanna star clart, give her the go
It's like Heather Mills givin McCartney a blow
Not at work now cos I'm on the sick
My Badboy limp sorts the benefits
I lurks round town with my mates at an angle
Leisurewear, bling bling, fuckin Jingle Jangle
You knows I'm safe, so check my stance
Walking round Argos like I shit my pants
Mysti
Ohh tick tock we don't stop. I limp like a leper when I go down the shop.
A ginsters pasty, a can of panda pop then it's off down the council cos my benefit stopped.
Injury, it's the name of the game
Fucking up your body for the goldie lookin chain
What? 36 weeks? One leg is a year.
Do a Vincent Van Gogh, get more money for beer
Chorus
Ring now, no win no fee - it's gotta be true cos it's on the tv.
Ring now, it's money for free - it's gotta be true cos it's on the tv.
Maggot
Don't think about the bones that you're breaking, think of all the cash you're making
4. Charm School
Adam
E=mc squared so I've heard,
This is charm school, how to pull a smart bird,
Love to dance with a skank with a stiff in my pants,
You're thinking romance while I'm thinking "are they implants?"
Girl, you're better looking than my missus,
Want to give you deep love,
And then shower you with kisses,
On your pink parts, cos this Newport clart,
Is into Charm School like Da Vinci to art,
This is a Hussain education it involves sex, draw and a Playstation,
Pushing your buttons, now you're thinking that I'm tender,
Like Craig David with a hidden agenda.
So I step to her, and say "what's up?"
I'm not much too look at but girl you're in luck,
It's not all about looks, confidence or personality,
Wide ons, hardons, loving a bit of rubsies.
Adam's charm school,
(down the bus station)
Adam's charm school,
(getting education)
Adam's charm school,
(when the bell starts ringing)
Adam's charm school,
(he don't care if you're minging)
Eggsy
He's the G with the CSE,
A real A* plus and they teach you for free,
P. Xain
Charm School,
Skills to rob tills,
NVQ's, to City And Guilds,
2Hats
Double detention but it don't matter,
I got my fingers stuck in the dinner ladies' batter,
Mystikal
Ding-a-ling,
The bell's for you, not for me,
I graduated from charm school back in 1983,
Ballsy
Adam Hussain, I needs another lesson,
And when the bell rings, we're going on a session,
And have a little wager to see who can pull,
The most birds, I've lost count, I've got my hands full,
2 Hats
This charm school,
Where I learns from the master,
To get my finger in, just a little bit faster,
In and out, up and down, there's no complication,
A GLC baby's what you get for graduation,
Eggsy
It's a simple course and it won't involve revision,
Just 12 pints of lager in a nightclub on a mission,
His teaching style is more than just particular,
And if he likes your bits then he'll get extra-curricular,
P. Xain
I went to the university of life and the school of thought,
But I forgot all of the important things what I was taught,
Oh son, you gotta learn,
That if you take 12 pukkas you're bound to gurn,
Adam's charm school,
(down the bus station)
Adam's charm school,
(getting education)
Adam's charm school,
(when the bell starts ringing)
Adam's charm school,
(he don't care if you're minging)
Eggsy
Take time to study and invest,
If you follow the charm school rules you'll be impressed,
There's no exams and it don't involve money,
Just a never-ending urge to try and get yourself some cunny,
Think style, charm and finesse,
Mix it up with Adam and then chuck him some breasts,
Add confusion, ladies, and 27 beers,
Then wait down the clinic till the test results clears.
Adam
Smooth! Like a pane of glass,
I'm gonna kick your ass if you try and skip my class,
I'll be your knight in shining armour,
Smoking marijuana,
Whispering sweet nothings cos you knows that I'm a charmer.
Billy
Top class, you're free to enrol,
Like Pandora's box to Adrian Mole,
Or the Bee Gees, for whom the bell tolls,
Give it a shot cos every hole's a goal.
Adam's charm school,
(down the bus station)
Adam's charm school,
(getting education)
Adam's charm school,
(when the bell starts ringing)
Adam's charm school,
(he don't care if you're minging)
Adam's charm school,
(it's like Jamie Oliver to chips)
Adam's charm school,
(so it's fingers on lips)
Adam's charm school,
(when the bell starts ringing)
Adam's charm school,
(he don't care if you're minging)
5. RNB
P. Xain
There's this girl wot I've liked for time
I've tried to get her attention with a beat and a rhyme
She's really fcuking fit and she works down the shoe shop
But she's into R'n'B and not hip hop
So I'm back once again with a new melody
You've got the secrets, I've got the key
Let me start the ignition just like R Kelly
Come baby, come baby, ride with me
All
Come baby, come baby, baby baby come
Your love is the bullet, my love is the gun
Come baby, come baby, come with me
I'll take you on a journey through R and B
Eggsy
This is how it started, I remember how you laughed
When you met Jason Orange and asked him for an autograph
Before that time it was NKOTB
To you they were the greatest and the fan club was free
You got the photos, the tapes and the t-shirt
But when they finally split up I could see how much it hurt
Then other boybands came along and stopped the pain
But somewhere deep inside amongst the sunshine there was rain
Front to the back to the left to the right
Dye my hair, put in the highlight
A1, N'Sync and Blue, Westlife, 911, Take That too
I'll make a video walkin in the sand
Even do a solo deal, money in my hand
I'm not silly though cos I've got plans
Gonna change direction, gonna be a boyband
All
Come baby, come baby, baby baby come
Your love is the bullet, my love is the gun
Come baby, come baby, come with me
I'll take you on a journey through R and B
R and B, get high with me, R and B
Oh ohhh ohhh-ohhh
Adam
This is the love and your ear's the destination
Hip hop, R'n'B, beats across the nation
From the girls who love J.Lo, to all the men that wanna be Fat Joe
Yeah, it's an R'n'B to hip hop vibe
Gonna touch your missus but I'll keep it on the low ride
You know I wanna give you devotion
Feel my R'nB emotion
Mysti
When you're in a boyband, you're gettin lots of money
You get to drive fast cars and chill with the honeyz
You smoke blow and rap slow
Like Enya in Orinocho Flow
An ounce of weed, I'm on speed (?)
I run much faster, just what I need
Bad dance routines guaranteed
This chart hit makes your fcukin ears bleed
2hats
Woahh, yeah, yeah, yeah
Ooooh, yeah, yeah ,yeaaaaah
Oooooh, ooooooh
Arrrrr and Beeeeee
All
Come baby, come baby, baby baby come
Your love is the bullet, my love is the gun
Come baby, come baby, come with me
I'll take you on a journey through R and B
R and B...
6. HRT
HRT, HRT, Hormone Replacement Therapy, HRT, HRT, Hormone Replacement Therapy,
Eggsy
Back then I say a few years ago,
I made a conscious decision to get wrecked on blow,
When it started it was all just a laugh,
Smoking spliffs in the toilet, or bongs in the bath,
As time went by I carried on toking,
Like Howard Marks, but doing more choking,
I didn't mind but then I didn't even check,
Smoking too much weed has left my body a wreck,
Can't say out loud but there's something going on,
I've grown tits, after smoking my bong,
Adam
When I'm lighting my bong,
Or smoking a cone,
I don't want to worry about my chromosones
Hormone replacement, that's what I need, I started to grow tits after smoking too much weed,
Hormone replacement, that's what I need, I started to grow tits after smoking too much weed,
Xain
This is the message: weed tokers out there beware,
Your dealer just don't care,
Take a step back, listen to what I say,
GM weed fuckin' up your DNA,
The truth about this weed really is a shocker,
Smoked half an ounce now I look like Hayley Cropper,
So you've been warned, take fuckin heed,
Of this chemically enhanced, icky sticky weed.
Adam
GM weed start the metamorphosis,
I might grow tits, now you're taking the piss,
Putting chemically enhanced weed in your spliffs,
Now you needs viagra to get me a stiffs,
Hormone replacement, that's what I need, I started to grow tits after smoking too much weed,
Hormone replacement, that's what I need, I started to grow tits after smoking too much weed,
Maggot
Oh shit my willy is a fanny,
Take a step back I'm turning into a tranny,
I start to panic, this wasn't just a rash,
My bellends turning into a fucking gash,
Seen the doctor, nothing could be done,
I smoked the weed and the changes began,
And this weed's affecting the missus,
She's got a tash and she's standing up when she pisses.
Hormone replacement, that's what I need, I started to grow tits after smoking too much weed,
Hormone replacement, that's what I need, I started to grow tits after smoking too much weed.
Xain
Smoking weed can suppress your agression,
Some people say it can cause depression,
Here's a lesson,
With sticky weed don't be messin',
Maybe you should just stick to resin...?
Back to hot rocks, and burning your tracky,
But you don't wanna get tits off this GM waccy-backy,
Smoke it bpa,
You'll need a training bra,
Just for now i'm smoking soap bar!!!!
HRT, HRT, Hormone Replacement Therapy, HRT, HRT, Hormone Replacement Therapy,
HRT, HRT Hormone replacement, that's what I need, I started to grow tits after smoking too much weed,
Hormone replacement, that's what I need, I started to grow tits after smoking too much weed.
Hormone replacement, that's what I need, I started to grow tits after smoking too much weed.
Hormone replacement, that's what I need, I started to grow tits after smoking too much weed.
Xain
Yeah, My misses loves em man.
Eggsy
Seriously, you can open and close it like a letter box.
Maggot
My bits have changed! My balls have shrivelled up like tomatoes in the sun.
Xain
Seeeeeeeerious!
Eggsy
They called it a ... in the clinic and started laughing.
Xain
Yeah serious man, im gonna get of the icky sticky and get back on the soap bar..... tommorrow, just one more night spa...
7. Dog
[lyrics]
8. Maggot at Midnight
Maggot
'Ere we go ding ding, get onboard
Like Rocky 1, 2 and 3 I'm the lord of the dance
See my legs jiggle, feel the vibe
I'm maggot - Do the wriggle
Like Michael Jackson's thriller, I'll give you a fright
Hello to the darkness, goodbye to the the light
Hiphop vampire, pubes caked in shite
Welcome to my world, Maggot at midnight!
M a g..g o t, m a g..g o t, m a g..g o t, thats all you need! the maggot mc
I see the moon hung low, my shadow casts out
Spreading from Newbridge to the Coldra roundabout
Teenage virgin dreams with my fingers spread out
Across Newport town whilst Nosferatu's about
I slide through windows and creeping through doors
Sniff yer sisters underwear, whats mine is yours
They'll never catch me, I'll take a shit on the floor
The Maggot goes at midnight, like a blowie from a whore
All
Can I get a fcuking yeah yeah? (yeah yeah!)
Can I get a fcuking yeah yeah? (yeah yeah!)
Can I get a fcuking yeah yeah? (yeah yeah!)
Can I get a..you knows it bra!
Can I get a fcuking yeah yeah? (yeah yeah!)
Can I get a fcuking yeah yeah? (yeah yeah!)
Can I get a fcuking yeah yeah? (yeah yeah!)
Can I get a..you knows it bra!
You knows it!!
Eggs
Hes the maggot
Maggot
Whoop whoop!
Eggs
Known far and wide
Maggot
Lubing up my fingers, i'll stick them inside
Eggs
He's the Maggot
Maggot
Rinse out
Eggs
Like colonic irrigation
Maggot
Public enema number 1, relieving constipation!
Eggs
Hes the maggot
Maggot
Rude boy
Eggs
Into drugs and sex
Maggot
Scamming postal orders and forging cheques..
Eggs
Hes the maggot,
Maggot
Brock wide
Eggs
Like Jeckyll and Hyde!
Maggot
Leave em on love, I'll just pull em to the side
All
M a g..g o t, m a g..g o t, m a g..g o t, thats all you need! the maggot mc
Maggot
I'm the maggot, the maggot, the prince of doom
I'm the hip hop vampire when i sees a full moon!
Eggs
Hes the maggot, beware of his gaze
Maggot
I look a bit like the bloke from the crystal maze
Crime pays! I use different disguises
Got access to bank accounts of various sizes,
Blood on the cross, the candles alight,
The hiphop vampire, maggot at midnight!
All
Can I get a fcuking yeah yeah? (yeah yeah!)
Can I get a fcuking yeah yeah? (yeah yeah!)
Can I get a fcuking yeah yeah? (yeah yeah!)
Can I get a..you knows it bra!
Can I get a fcuking yeah yeah? (yeah yeah!)
Can I get a fcuking yeah yeah? (yeah yeah!)
Can I get a fcuking yeah yeah? (yeah yeah!)
Can I get a..you knows it bra!
Maggot
Come follow me, come follow me, come follow me now
Come follow me, come follow me, come follow me now
9. Hit Song
P Xain
Yeah this is the fuckin shit
No fuckin fuckin it off
Serious as fuck
All you clits out there for the motherfuckers
This is fuckin two fuckin G
No fuckin it up
It's fuckin clarts in the place
Get fuckin to it spa
You fuckin knows it
Serious as fuck
Billy Webb
Have you heard this before? Can you be sure?
Cause it all sounds the same when you're on the dance floor
You've had enough but you still go back for more
Like a double glazing salesman knockin at my front door
The formula's right, then why change it?
Keep the beat, and rearrange it
Cuttin it up and stick it together like a jigsaw
The hits keep coming but they never get sore
All
This is just another shit song what you hear on the radio
This is just another shit song what you heard but you don't know
Eggs
It's on MTV, you can buy the ringtone
I even heard it played down the old folks home
It's in the mornin', the evenin', especially at night
I even heard it played in the pub when I had a fight
I heard it played in the taxi going home
Like a sheep called Dolly an identical clone
Like the last one, and the one before that
The same crap song by another crap twat
Check the video, what's going on?
No singer to appear, just a bird in a thong
Do I want this? Will I pay money for it?
The man on the telly said the kids adore it
Whose kids? I don't know
And if they want a demographic then I'll fuckin well show 'em
Here's the rhyme, I doubt it's gonna fit
It's the same four songs, just another crap hit
All
This is just another shit song what you hear on the radio
This is just another shit song what you heard but you don't know
P Xain
You've heard it before, a hundred times or more
In your mum's car and on the dance floor
Like Snap, East 17 or Ace Of Base
Rhythm is a dancer and it's not a race
Pumpin up the jam like Techno Tronic
Like Dr Dre wrecked up on the Chronic
Maniac, brainiac, winnin the game
I'm out of my mind like Victoria and Dane
2Hats
Jumping on the dancefloor
The bomb the bass
Hands moving wildlyt cos I'm off my face
Its more than adrenaline running through my veins
I'm with 4 people but I don't know their names
Obsessing about my sub-conscious caught by the right
I gotta find a girl before they call time
There's one in the crowd, but I just lost sight
But it don't matter there's another to my right-and left-WICKED!!!!!!!
Eggs
Is that it?
P Xain
What?
Eggs
It sounds a bit too familiar, have we done this before?
P Xain
I don't know what it is
All
This is just another shit song what you hear on the radio
This is just another shit song what you heard but you don't know
This is just another shit song what you heard when you smoke blow
This is just another shit song what you hear on the radio
Mike Balls
What's that song that was on in the shop?
I've heard it before, I love it when it drops
It's in the car infront, it's in the car behind
Secretly getting into my twisted little mind
Step on the dancefloor, can you feel the beat?
You can't take your eyes off my two left feet
Moon walk, robotics or getting down low
The DJ played it three times in a row
Can't stand the pain, can't take the pressure
When you rubs up against me then I gets a bit fresher
Thinks that, I loves you, you are the one
Knows you and me could be havin big fun
We could get a room, you could bring your mate
Got a little something for you, just like MN8
Play it again bra, I can't get enough
I'm a rebel MC, you knows I'm street tough
All
This is just another shit song what you heard on the radio
Fuckin right
This is just another shit song what you heard but you don't know
Fuckin right
10. Monkey Love
hi, my name is rennie-la-lou and i'm gonna sing a song for you about love and how love can tear you apart
it was a night like any other in this town
i took a bus to take a look around
i wanted romance, i wanted someone just like you
but you were locked up in Bristol Zoo
it was the summer, maybe back a year or two
on my first day-trip to the zoo......zoo
that's when i saw you, i caught your brown eyes watching mine
my heart lit up at feeding time........time
i knew, from that moment onwards, you had to be mine, and i made a vow to set you free, together we could live in the forest of dean, eating berries and kissing eachother........forest of dean
it wasn't natural, i knew this courtship was so true
i had to love you, i had to hold you in my arms
but we were parted by bars......bars
so i stuck round, waited till the dead of night
i climbed the enclosure with you......you
i put a wig on your head to make you look so nice
i bought a dress and high heels too.........too
we had a meal, fresh fruit by candlelight
then we made love till two.........two
chorus -
i love the monkey, and then he fuked her
i love the monkey, and then he fuked her
i love the monkey, and then he fuked her
i love the monkey, aaaaahh, and i fuked her
see, there's someone special in my life, someone i hold very close to my heart, but we could never be together in a crazy world like this, because the woman of my dreams just happens to be a monkey locked up in Bristol Zoo
we made a dummy from boxes and banana skins
and told the keeper it was you........you
we walked away hand in hand across the park
and then went back home just to screw......screw
chorus -
i love the monkey, and then he fuked her
i love the monkey, and then he fuked her
i love the monkey, and then he fuked her
i love the monkey, aaaaahh, and i fuked her
finally, me and Jo-lene were together, for the first time in months she finally saw the outside world, she saw beautiful people, beautiful places, but she saw my love in its physical form, which she enjoyed the most, until the authorities came and took her away and i got given that injection to stop me getting rabies, i love her and i still think about her!
11. Short Term
Adam Hussein
September 1st 1983,
A Newport wreck-head lost his f*ckin' short term memory,
He couldn't remember sh!t,
Who the f*ck he was or what to do with a clit,
???????? and left it somewhere,
Smoking loads of bud cause he just don't care,
Are you my Dad? My Mum or my Brother?
Cause it's in one ear and out the f*ckin' other,
I'm feeling blasé, not too concise,
Doctors said my brain was like a Muller rice,
Some mind control means telekinesis,
F*ckin' selling draw leaves your mind in pieces,
To be a dope badboy you must qualify,
Had something to do but instead I got high,
Friends going ‘what?', I think I forgot,
My short term memory's f*ckin gone to pot!
Chorus
My short term memory, it won't come back to me
My short term memory, it won't come back to me
Eggsy
Lookin at Adam's face no expression or emotion,
Even if a naked girl was showing him devotion,
You can tell he's not feeling too fly,
Cause the only thing he won't forget is how to get high,
It's not fair, take a second, understand,
Smoking the weed is integral to the Band –
- of Brothers, but you knew that before,
Ask them two plus two and they just saw ‘draw'.
Adam Hussein
Boom! Boom! Boom! Shake the room!
Don't know what are the words, f*ckin' up the f*ckin' tunes,
What? Where? Who? Why? What's going on?
Forgot what I'm saying, f*ck me that sh!ts strong,
Doctors say it affects your mind and your follicles,
That might be true but I think it's truly bollock all
I'm not sure, but I maintain.
I'm Adam Hussein and I need a lie down clarts
Chorus
My short term memory, it won't come back to me
My short term memory, it won't come back to me
P. Xain
In your head, zombie, zombie,
I got this problem with my memory,
It's no joke, I'm not playing,
I can't remember what we were saying,
Psychotropic drugs inside of my brain,
They made me forget the whatsernames,
I got this problem, it's called short term,
I got the memory of ejaculating sperm.
Adam Hussein
What was I saying? Nah... It's gone,
Short term memory, minds gone wrong,
Should I give up weed? Maybe I oughta?
F*ck that spa, tick me up another quarter,
Yeah it's true, my mind is like a sieve,
I smoke weed everyday, that's how I lives,
But I'm sure the weed isn't to blame,
Cause my Nan's 84 and she's just the same clart!
Chorus
My short term memory, it won't come back to me
My short term memory, it won't come back to me
Mystikal
Right! I wanna give a give a big up to… uhhh….
P. Xain
Dopeman Dopeman, do you remember?
You owe me fifty quid from last September,
When I'm out, I tend to forget,
Did I know you? Or have we just met?
I should have kept a log like Captain Kirk,
Because I forgot to pick up the Missus from work,
I got this book on mental power,
And I take special pills and wank twice an hour…
Billy Webb
Short term memory all gone up in smoke,
I dunno what you said but I think someone spoke?
Constant amazement at everyday reality,
Like Professors, with particle duality,
My heart stopped beating and the power cut,
Went to school on Saturday when I knew it was shut,
Speed, blow pills and ecstasy,
Effecting my short term memory.
Chorus
My short term memory, it won't come back to me
My short term memory, it won't come back to me
My short term memory, it won't come back to me
My short term memory, it won't come back to me
(I cant remember, I can't remember, what it is I want to remember)
12. Paranoia
Mysti
Sirens wail and lights start to dance
I try to act normal but i'm shittin' my pants
Walking faster, look over my shoulder
It's calming down now, the trails getting colder
Turn a corner, I'm in for a shock
I stared at a copper and now our eyes lock
Time stands still, fuck me does he know
About the pills, the acid, the speed and the blow
Stuffed in my pockets, my hat and my shoes
Should have got a taxi but i can't stand the queues
He looks away, breathe a sigh of relief
Situations like this are nothing but grief
Chorus
The police are over there
I tried to hide my vacant stare
Eggsy
Two cones burn bright from the bong
Sampled the mix, walking home like a moron
Fear follows in a line behind
Fills my mind, makes my sences go blind
I hear footsteps followed by a diesel van
See the blue lights being followed by the man
It's getting late and i'm packin' the draw
Do i tell them last i lost my dog like twice before
It won't work, i'll say my gran just died
Failing that, i'll say i'm looking for a cab ride
My brain is racing and my legs turn to wood
If the police see my eyes, they'll see i've been up to no good
My mind tripping through the paranoid zone
I should have fucked it all off and called a pizza from home
Chorus
The police are over there (and your doing illegals, your doing illegals)
I tried to hide my vacant stare (they're watching you)
Mike
Like a neon racer, speeding down the street
I needs a fuckin' spliff, i'd better be discreet
Skinnin' up on Newport bridge, am i out of my mind?
I looks in the mirror, the police are behind
Got a pocket full of pills and a glove box full of Mary-jane
I know - i'll lose 'em in the bus lane
Taxi in the way, i'll never get past
Those fuckin' copper cars are well fuckin fast
I've only got a shitty Vauxhall nova
I'll never give up, I'll never pull over
Avoiding eye contact, i weaves in and out
Nearly caused a pile up on the fuckin roundabout
Blue lights are flashing, here we fuckin go
I'm smoking up a spliff and my car stinks of blow
Then he sped past me and drove away
So i drove 'round slow for the rest of the day
Chorus
The police are over there (and your doing illegals, your doing illegals)
I tried to hide my vacant stare (they're watching you)
Adam
Flashing blue lights, reading my rights
Drama, smokin' marijuana makes me fuckin calmer
Charlie tango alpha, i'm paranoid
I'm shittin' myself but it aint fuckin heameroids
Outside my house its an unmarked car
I aint going down so piss you wanker
oh no, hang on, its Two-way Bob
With his new boyfriend, giving him a hand job
He starts to sweat, his hands on his chopper
Roll another fat one and he aint a fuckin copper
I got paranoid with my herbal cigs
and when i goes out i wear dark glasses and wigs
2hats
Eyes are watching me everywhere
I can't see them, but i can feel their stare
Got to hold on tight when i see the police
Don't want to have an *ughh* unexpected release
Chorus
The police are over there (and your doing illegals, your doing illegals)
I tried to hide my vacant stare (they're watching you)
The police are over there (and your doing illegals, your doing illegals)
I tried to hide my vacant stare (they're watching you)
CCTV, CCTV, CCTV, CCTV, CCTV, CCTV, CCTV, CCTV, CCTV, CCTV, CCTV, CCTV
13. Sister
Xain
it's been coming for months I got something to say
we're breaking up and there's no easy way
this siutation i never anticipated
how was i supposed to know you was related?
she's older, she's fitter and her tits are bigger
and she makes me laugh it's not all about the figure
i got this problem like a wart or a blister
truth is
I wanna fuck your sister
Chorus
If you leave me now can I fuck your sister?
And your best friend.
If you leave me now can I fuck your sister?
And your best friend.
Eggs
We had fun for a while but I shouldda seen it comin
There's no more smiles, no more songs not even humming
Truth is I always knew it was there
The way we kissed and you left me with a blank stare
Don't want the pain, so I think we ought to act
You want to leave and your suitcase is packed
It breaks my heart but the truth has been said
It's the end of the day so let's jus put this to bed
Good luv I hope you find a perfect Mister
But now you're gone can I please fuck your sister?
Chorus
If you leave me now can I fuck your sister?
And your best friend.
If you leave me now can I fuck your sister?
And your best friend.
2hats
Thing is, you look like her, but like a wonky version or something
Mysti
Well yer minds made up and your bags are packed
But I've got something with your sister you and me always lacked.
Like Locomotive's "CHOO CHOO!"
I've run out of track
Yer sisters fit as fuck & your Vadge has gone slack
I still like you
But your sis gets the prize
I was surprised
She opened up all three of my eyes
She's the cherry on my cake
The sausage roll on my beans
When I'm spread eagled on your sister it's a sexual dream.
Eggs
Times they are a changing, that's what Bob Dylan said
You put your clothes back on and take your sisters off instead
I'll make it easy we can use a hotel
That way in the morning you won't suffer from the smell
Of my love, united, two as one
Your sister is the reason that I'm writing this song
it's not revenge, anger or frustration
If I'm the reactor then she's the radiation
Like two plus two it's gonna equal four
With you around the streets So please walk out the fucking door
Chorus
If you leave me now can I fuck your sister?
And your best friend.
Gonna leave you now cos yer sisters' fitter.
And so's your best friend.
2hats
Thing is, you knows I loves you, but your mouth smells funny when I fuck you
Xain
So, you think I'm crap in bed?
Well let me have a go with your sister instead
You knows I loves you
You knows it's true
But the thing is, I loves your sister too.
You think me dating your sister is weird
I told 'em all down the pub and they cheered
If I were you I'd be more concerned with my brother
He's having sex with your mother
Chorus
If you leave me now can I fuck your sister?
And your best friend.
If you leave me now can I fuck your sister?
And your best friend.